Bleed

Crossing paths, Weaving relationships

Everyone on their own trips

Grappling with the old and the new

Lies told with faces of stone

Relishing every bit of the pain

Chances missed to say words they want to hear

And why you won't lie even though you hold them dear

Creeping closer a second, running off the other

When it's meant to be over, why even bother

Grudges and resentment, a lot to harbour

Till u break down n explode. And then only to start another

Bumping and crashing, relishing the conflict

Loneliness and distrust, on yourself you inflict

Take the cuts to your heart. And breathe.

U'll live...

A Journey.

A restless sleep. Cartoon Network night. Driving across city and all the way back, and all the way back again. Missed trains. Lost books. Getting over lost books. And phones falling apart. And dresses burnt.

THINGS... just things.

Bangalore bandh... empty streets. Coffeehouse observations. Caffeine.

FRIENDS. The kind who drive you across town 3 times, without complaining, because they're "enjoying talking to you".

The kind who plan and arrange your dream vacation from across the country, and worry you're mad at them... because you thanked them.

The kind who get their drinks and join you on the wet bathroom floor in the middle of the night as you sit there trying to.. puke!

The kind who laugh off your every mistake just so you wouldn't worry.

The kind who're happy for your happiness whatever they may be going through.

The kind who wouldn't pick up calls or reply to your messages all day but say just one line, and bring your scattered world back together.

RISKS. The kind you'd hoped you'd get the chance to take.

The kind you get the chance to take.

The kind you hope you're brave enough to take.

Driving around. People laughing. City streets. Bangalore traffic jams.

All passing in front of my eyes in slow motion.

Gratitude. For everything.

And for the many journeys to come...

Smoky Fingers

You're just the scent of cigarette smoke. It's blown away with the wind.

A little just lingers on my fingertips.

I'm high. And you've left me dizzy.

That's just what I needed u for.

Illusions, the ones we decide to be a part of.

Knowing they'll do us harm, eventually.

Worlds

Worlds end. But only for new ones to begin. Or for us to notice the ones that had already begun when we were too busy being stuck on ones that had already ended, only we didn't know it.

Home?

We kept bumping into each other.

All of us.

Here and there. Now and again.

Everyone knew everyone. Or seemed to know everyone.

Had I stayed on, we all would have known each other.

Don't know if I would be strong enough to have everyone know me.

Judge me. And we all do it all the time.

Don't know if I'd made enough mistakes to want to not make any more.

If I knew all the wrongs to know which ones I liked, and which ones to avoid.

Don't know if I would be open enough to have everyone be a part of my life,

Even if they only meant well.

And even if they did, and I would, it would still be so lonely.

One thing to share sadness, another to be able to erase it.

To replace it with better times.

I don't know if I could have it there.

I don't know if I can have it here, anymore.

I certainly can't in the place that was first home. And home is what I don't know what is anymore.

We Both Knew

That you were a liar

And I could not be trusted

(My rhymes just came to a halt at that this time.. lol)

-Pondering over Shams we Choose to Believe In-

You didn't stay then, I'll take it you had your reasons

I'm gonna fly too.. because it hurts to be in such loveless liaisons

I can't be stuck in this muck; knowing

That you hate me; It suffocates me

And every word you said... to show how much you care

Was a sham

I believed in it;

Maybe that's why I'm hating myself so much sometimes these days...

Every thought of that encounter; which made me flounder

Looking over my lone shoulder for some sympathy

Makes me pity, and not like myself, all the more

I'm gonna fly, away.

I gotta free myself from the bonds that you lay on me,

Claiming it to be what mattered the most; before you walked away

without a trace

without a grudge

without a shred of guilt

I believed it all.

(Insane and unreal as it seemed!)

Never will I believe again.

And I wonder, if it will help me like myself...

If it will help me not hate myself...

It's been so long...

It's been so long since I wandered, aimlessly.

It's been so long since the song, that I loved;

and there's been silence, since.

My mind needs a sound.

My eyes need a sight, never seen before.

My hand would like another, to share it.

I crave (close) friends at times.

But there's no one here I don't know.

I don't want to know them;

For sometimes it is all too well;

And it's not a good thing.

Plastic bags slither, and flying biscuits glide past my eyes,

Cutting through the chilly Dhasa air;

It's all in my mind.

The eyes search, sometimes, to meet a stare that is on the same page

Only to find one, and doubt if it's from a liar's eyes...